Like, a genderfluid person feels feminine one day, nothing another day, feminine but not female someday and goes by whatever gender they feel fits best. What I think might be the biggest difference, though I could be wrong as I'm just trying to make sense of it after hearing how you feel, is that genderfluid people go from being one gender to another or more, and genderflux people do that as well but maybe measure their place on the spectrum by how much like one gender or how much of a particular gendered trait they identify with? Really quickly, did someone tell you that you had to be or feel masculine or male to be genderfluid? Genderfluid and genderflux have the same definition in a lot of places and neither of them require any one gender to be present. I am still questioning my feelings though, how do I know for sure how I feel when I am pretty sure it is changing all the time? Clothes and style are good, because I can change them day to day without the fuss. If so how do I live with it? For example I can't change my pronouns all the time, there's enough misgendering, going on in my freindgroup, of people who are out as trans/nonbinary, I can just imagine how people would mangle and resent something that changes. I am just like, meh, can I change my pronouns to they/them now? I tried thinking "I am a woman" and it just made me feel grumpy and wrong. Today I am almost to the point of agender. A few days ago I took note of how I felt, and I felt like a woman, I said it in my head 'I am a woman' and I knew it was true, and I felt awesome being female. That I am not mistaken about feelings of femininity yesterday just because I don't feel them today. Lately I have been paying more attention and considering the possibility that all my gender feelings are real. Or like fluctuation and a little bit of grumpiness isn't enough somehow, and I should just slink back to my binary cisgender cubbyhole. I also had (and still have a little) this feeling like maybe I am just trying to be special, like I spend enough time with non-binary people that I want to fit in. I knew I wasn't genderfluid because I have never felt the least bit masculine. I had no idea there was an actual word for it. It was even in my profile, I've got that I am usually a woman but sometimes a demigirl. Then I would go to change my gender on my profile, and remember that strong feeling of femaleness, and I'd know demigirl or agender wasn't true, but also female wasn't true either.
I'd feel like demigirl, or occasionally agender might suit me more. Then sometimes I'd wonder, if maybe I wasn't as much of a woman as I thought. You see sometimes I am adamant and convinced that I am a woman. I thought I was just a little bit confused. Darn I thought I had done all the figuring out about myself.
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